accomplished twins. life is a go
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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