When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
