He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize