Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
