Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
