two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
