Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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