How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
