Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
