I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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