dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had to coat check the pizza.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
