I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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