dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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