is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
