sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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