Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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