Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
