It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
