it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
