she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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