Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
