how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
