yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
