I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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