She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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