I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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