I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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