i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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