Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
