Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize