What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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