I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
