Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
