dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
