I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
