It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
