I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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