i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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