Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
