i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
