i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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