I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize