"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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