dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize