I am puke
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
