It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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