if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
