We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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