can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
