On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
