her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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