Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
