Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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