she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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