apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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