Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
