why didn't you poke me back
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize