My brain says no but my pants say off.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
