And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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