I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
