apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
