I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
