Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's rum buckets o'clock
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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