come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
