you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
