Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
