I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
