i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
