I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
